Indoor sunglasses

By Caroline Liu

Why the next fashion trend will be indoor sunglasses, an illustration 6:10 am: Wake up 6:11 am: Check phone for messages 6:30 am: Have breakfast...with eyes glued to TV, because you have to catch up to the news 8:00 am: Commute to work...while reading on your tablet at max brightness 9:00 am: Begin working...which of course involves staring at a screen 12:00 pm: Still working (what's lunch? never heard of her) 5:00 pm: Commute home...while reading on your tablet, again 7:00 pm: Have dinner...while watching the evening news on TV 10:00 pm: Unwind...at your computer 1:00 am: Sleep--oh, I mean, continue watching that video because there's only 10 minutes left which is not that much time at all and you definitely won't click on that next video!!! Yes definitely not And if you repeat that routine too many times... Congratulations, you have twitchy eye

Seriously though, wearing sunglasses indoors may well become one of those trends that never die out – you know, like wearing underwear – because it will become a necessity. Already, we are staring at awfully bright screens whenever we’re not asleep, and I bet it won’t take long for the microchip-afflicted population to become blind, stumbling individuals who are completely reliant on their sense of touch to get around by the age of 30.

But if we wear sunglasses while staring at screens, eye strain will be reduced, and consequently, we won’t need to run our hands along rough brick walls and dirty garbage cans in order to make our way to work! This isn’t as ridiculous as it seems. A quick Google search revealed that some people have already come up with “computer glasses”, which have an anti-reflective coating and tinted lenses that have a weak magnifying power. Even thinkgeek has their own awesome code monkey glasses, although at $80 a pop, I think I’ll just stick with my $10 sunglasses for now. Sure, it doesn’t magnify anything for me, but the tint has actually stopped the persistent and annoying twitch in my left eye earlier (a result of long hours tinkering with Blogger code and drawing in Inkscape).

So, before you start your day by basking in the glow of your [ smart phone / tablet / laptop / other new gadget that has come out between the time I started this post and now ], stop, and don your sunglasses. Perhaps strangers will give you an odd look for now, but you’ll have the last laugh when you’re the one who still has good eyesight.

Footnotes!

  1. 6:30 AM: I wish I had been the one to make that blurb up about the bird flu, but alas, I’m not the author. It’s from this parody of BBC Breakfast.
  2. non-stop nyan-cat: If you have never heard of the Nyan Cat, you may want to catch up on this internet meme before venturing into the hypnotizing world of non-stop Nyan Cat.